Mom Refuses to Let Size 14 Daughter Borrow Her Size 4 Wedding Dress: 'She Is Much Bigger Than Me'

Mar. 15, 2025

A disagreement over an heirloom wedding dress has created a rift between a mother and daughter ahead of the daughter’s wedding.

The mother, 45, shared the details of the argument on Reddit’s popular"Am I the A——?“subreddit. In her post, she explained how her daughter, 20, is getting married in a few months, and recently approached her with the request to borrow her wedding dress.

She continued, “But for me, I just can’t. I love this dress. I was the one who designed it, and my mother, who was an excellent seamstress, made it for me. Looking at my wardrobe, this is the last piece I have that she made.”

Stock image of a woman adjusting a bride’s veil.Getty

Getty

The mother also said aside from the sentimental value, allowing her daughter to borrow the dress would require significant alterations to fit the bride. “She is much bigger than me, and she just wants to use the fabric and alter it irreversibly because she’s a size 14 and the dress is a 4.”

Even if her daughter didn’t need to alter the dress, the mother stated she wouldn’t allow her to wear it. She expressed her disappointment in her daughter’s lack of respect for her personal belongings, questioning, “Since when did mothers stop being their own individuals and only become caterers for their children?”

Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Stock image of a bride getting ready for her wedding.Getty

Some users even criticized the daughter’s behavior, particularly her insistence on altering the dress permanently. “You should preserve it, and she is in the wrong to complain,” one person wrote. Another added, “It holds an enormous sentimental value and is a connection to your mom. Due to your daughter having a different body type, even if you wanted to lend her the dress, the necessary alterations would mean that it would be a completely different dress.”

Others weighed in on possible compromises, with one person writing, “Do you have something else she could borrow for the wedding? Maybe she thought the sentiment of tradition was a nice idea to her. like a purse, or some jewelry?”

Not everyone sided with the mom though. One person wrote, “My wedding dress was magnificent and I loved it, still do. It has been sitting in a box for over thirty years. I’ll never wear it again and I have no idea what I am saving it for. I’d gladly give it to someone (especially my daughter) if using it would bring them happiness.”

source: people.com