Nick Viall Shares His Biggest Dating Mistake: I Prioritized 'My Ego Over My Heart'

Mar. 15, 2025

Photo: Emma McIntyre/WireImage

Nick Viallis opening up about his journey to finding love.

The formerBachelorstar, 42, appeared on Tuesday’s episode of thePEOPLE Every Daypodcastto discuss his new bookDon’t Text Your Ex Happy Birthday, relationships, hook-up culture and what he’s learned along the way.

He added, “I’ve made a lot of those mistakes where I prioritize what I thought I wanted in the moment, and I convinced myself of it and kind of ignored my real feelings about a situation because I wanted to feel validated. And I’ve done that plenty of times. I’m still susceptible to doing it. I think we all are. It’s, as I always say, easy in theory and hard in practice.”

While the Bachelor Nation alum is now dating girlfriendNatalie Joy, he wasn’t afraid to get her input about his previous experiences with love for his new book. He said that Joy was “very helpful in the process” of writing.

“I tried to be creative with my writing, and I tried to be… Obviously, I’m known for having pretty direct advice, but I wanted to be empathetic, and I wanted to be relatable and certainly not be harsh or anything like that,” he said. “Natalie was often the first person I would have read my pages.”

Of the new book, out Tuesday, he said: “I kind of talk about the difference between ‘f-boys’ and players. Maybe I’m dating myself, but players is a term that was more common back in the day. And I would describe those people [as those] who truly have an alternative motive, right? They’re putting up a front in order to make you believe that they have stronger feelings than they really do.”

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Viall and Joy made their relationshipInstagram officialin January 2021 after quietly dating for months. He told Rubenstein that he advises getting into a relationship rather than staying in “situation-ships.”

“A situation-ship is not an acceptable relationship status,” he said. “If you’re in a situation-ship, you are accepting less than you deserve.”

RELATED VIDEO: Nick Viall Says He’s ‘Super Happy’ with Girlfriend Natalie Joy: She ‘Makes Me Want to Be Better’

Viall’s dating life became public in 2014 after he appeared onAndi Dorfman’s season ofThe Bacheloretteand returned forKaitlyn Bristowe’s season in 2015. He was the runner-up both times.

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source: people.com