Skater Gracie Gold Recalls 'Painful and Confusing' Time After Losing Best Friend to Suicide (Exclusive)

Mar. 15, 2025

Photo:Matthew Stockman/Getty

Matthew Stockman/Getty

SkaterGracie Goldis opening up about the loss of her best friend and fellow figure skaterJohn Coughlin.

The Olympic figure skater first formed a deep friendship with Coughlin in 2017 after she returned home from spending 45 days in inpatient treatment at the Meadows in Arizona for her ongoing eating disorder, severe depression and anxiety.

Coach Dalilah Sappenfield (left), Caydee Denney and John Coughlin in 2011.Stephen Dunn/Getty

Stephen Dunn/Getty

Upon completing her stay, Gold turned on her phone to find supportive messages from many loved ones, including Coughlin, whom she credits in the book with “facilitating her comeback in ways great and small.” She writes that he quickly became one of the few people who believed in her, “at a time when the distance between me and my family of origin was palpable.”

Gold says her mother, Denise, a retired ER nurse, was drinking heavily at the time. Her father, Carl, an anesthesiologist and a longtime addict, had just been laid off after stealing drugs from the hospital where he worked.  She and her twin sister Carly were going through a difficult time, after Carlyencouraged her to get helpfor her eating disorder and mental illness.

“When I think of John, I only have fond memories, but I also in no way would invalidate the truths of the people that accused him,” she says. “If he’s guilty, my favorite person sexually assaulted women. If he’s innocent, my favorite person is [still] dead. There’s not going to be an answer in this lifetime. I loved him, and I have to live with that.”

For more on Gracie Gold’s revealing new memoir, pick up this week’s issue of PEOPLE, out Friday, or subscribehere.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, please contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or go torainn.org.

source: people.com